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Were you cast aside carelessly,
heedless of the cost?

Or was it that time refused to cede any quarter,
and you were innocently lost?
©2009-2010 *NaraKnell
:iconnaraknell:

Author's Comments

You are now found.

*
Please do not use my work without permission. ^_^

Comments


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:iconmolokoplusvellocet:
This is so beautiful that I had to fav it so I can read it again. Well done! :)

--
"It's creeping up slowly, that last fatal hour.."
:iconnaraknell:
Thank you! ^_^

--
******************************************
I found my redemption only when I broke.
******************************************
Always stand your ground.
But if you must run, run fast!

Never let the darkness catch you.
:iconpusphaas:
love it!!

--
Every artist has an own world
created by our own imagination
visit mine i'll visit yours

All that is yours is right for it mine!!
And mine it'll be!
:iconnaraknell:
Thank you!

--
******************************************
I found my redemption only when I broke.
******************************************
Always stand your ground.
But if you must run, run fast!

Never let the darkness catch you.
:iconpusphaas:
no problem

--
Every artist has an own world
created by our own imagination
visit mine i'll visit yours

All that is yours is right for it mine!!
And mine it'll be!
:iconthedownpour:
Amazing. It's short, but that makes it extremely effective and gives it only the one point to make the reader think, and it really does make the reader think, which for any piece of poetry is a very good thing. Also,coupled with this, I like the way that it could be interpreted in several ways - for example, dumped by a lover, thrown out of your job, etc. It really works.
I also like the use of rhyme, and I feel that works. I thought the flow a bit out, but that's still fine, in something this short that's not a real problem. I also liked the use of uncommonly used words like "cede", although that might be in common use and it might just be me :)
I really liked it, and if you didn't want constructive criticism, I'm sorry, don't read the words above :)

--
If I'm to fall
Would you be there to applaud?
Or would you hide behind them all?
'Cause if I were to go
In my heart you'll grow
And that's where you belong.
Oasis
:iconnaraknell:
Thank you so very much for the indepth criticism.... it is very welcome.
:hug:
I learn so much about my work through what others see in it, and it amazes me!
I smiled so BIG when I saw this comment on this poem...
again thanks! It means alot to me!

--
******************************************
I found my redemption only when I broke.
******************************************
Always stand your ground.
But if you must run, run fast!

Never let the darkness catch you.
:iconthedownpour:
You're welcome, I'll try to give in depth analysis more often :)

--
If I'm to fall
Would you be there to applaud?
Or would you hide behind them all?
'Cause if I were to go
In my heart you'll grow
And that's where you belong.
Oasis
:iconnaraknell:
:D Thanks!

--
******************************************
I found my redemption only when I broke.
******************************************
Always stand your ground.
But if you must run, run fast!

Never let the darkness catch you.
:iconthedownpour:
You're welcome

--
If I'm to fall
Would you be there to applaud?
Or would you hide behind them all?
'Cause if I were to go
In my heart you'll grow
And that's where you belong.
Oasis

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November 4, 2009
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